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HIGH GEAR

JULY 1976

GAY YOUTH, OUR FUTURE

CHICKEN CULTURE

BARBIE

SHOCKED

Toy observers estimate that every month, several thousand Barbies discover that their Kens are hermaphrodites. Letters have been received regularly from shocked and distraught Barbies, who, upon disrobing their paramours, find only a raised plastic area where an elaborate biological apparatus should be.

When Kens were interviewed for their reaction and explanations, they unanimously declared that they were transsexuals, secretly undergoing "plastic surgery."

Barler's Ideal Oit Heater

AFTER THE BATH.

PONIES

Youth Interview with the Vinyl Ponies

Us: Is your organization very

Us: is yo

big? 16

Him: No, we're all under two

feet:

Us: Do you anticipate becoming homosexual by the time you are 5 or 6?

Him: I hope so. If not, I'll have brain surgery performed immediately before I'm too far gone.

Us: If you go gay, what will you do before puberty?

Him: I plan to do drag shows until my voice changes.

Us: Do you have any advice for just-developing gay young men?

Him: Use those pacifers! You need the experience..

JUICE

BUST

Yesterday police descended upon Little Timmy's Gay Lemonade Stand and "arrested" little Timmy. From under the counter officers retrieved a pile of National Geographics, skindiving magazines, a nude "G.I. Joe." a jar of seedless grape jelly, a chain made out of pipe cleaners, an inflatable air mattress and pup tent, a whip made out of braided yarn, a chewed-up leather baseball mitt, and icon of St. Sebastian as a child, and a withered, sculpted banana.

Police turned the boy over to his parents who gave him a hearty spanking which Timmy reportedly enjoyed.

SCAT

High Class

Chocolates & Pralines

Now all you fairy godfathers can ditch those prunes, don your feathers, and enter Kenny Queen's World of Chicken Culture at the Chicken Palace Resort.

Cruise: Chicken of the sea in the ocean, prairie chicken on the colonel's sand.

Eat: Chicken soup, fried chicken, chicken paprikas, cornish hen, chick peas, and. chicklets

Hear:

C-K-E-N, that's

the way to spell "chicken,"

friend."

"Chicken Shack"

"I Gave My Love à Chicken That

Had No Bone"

And our theme:

"Miala baba koguta,

koguta, koguta.

Wsadziła go do buta, Do buta, heji!"

Watch: A full-length production of "Chanticleer"

Welcome: Chikasaws, Chicanos, J. Juszczyk, aparatchiks, and Henry Cohen (sorry no chicks).

Play: Chicken,

Dress: Tres chic!

COST: Chicken feed, Don't be a turkey! Sign up now!

CHICKEN

IMPERSONATIONS

This month's chicken wisdom: "Egg-beaters are grotesque."

QUIZ

What does a chicken drive?

jolsna ләцеәј е -

What is a size D' lamp for a chicken?

3. มอด นอ วเนว -

What did the chicken say when he found his waren on his rough mattress which he hoped by then would have turned into silk?

s.11 -

(Of course, these jokes require courage to repeat; but I'll bet you're too chicken!)